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December 23rd, 2015

03:58 pm - ahgase secret santa!
MERRY CHRISTMAS pippopippo. HAVE SOME JINSON? Forgive me for using such a tired trope, but I couldn’t help myself. I used Bambam’s stage name if only because even in their most outrageous videos, none of the members seem to call him Kunpimook. I hope you don’t hate it!


Bambam sauntered down the hallway toward the kitchen, looking forward to the snacks he had hidden after their manager’s last purge of their cupboards. As he was passing by Jinyoung’s room, he heard Jackson’s voice from behind the closed door.

“Is that even gonna fit?”

Bambam stopped and immediately scooted closer, wondering what they could possibly be up to. He thought Jackson wasn’t due back from China until tomorrow.

There was a rustle of fabric before he heard Jinyoung’s vaguely amused voice. “I’m sure it won’t be a problem, Jackson.”

Jackson let out a quiet sound before he said, “It’s not going in, Jinyoungie.”

A sigh. “Do I have to do everything?”

Bambam was pretty sure Jackson just whined in protest, but it was hard to hear through the door. He saw Mark poke his head out of his room and look at him curiously. Bambam pressed a finger to his lips and shook his head, so Mark just shrugged and stuck his ear to the door with him.

There was a quiet grunt and Jinyoung smugly said, “There, see? I told you it would fit.”

Jackson huffed and the two of them went silent, but Bambam could hear slight shuffling noises along with their breathing. He nearly jumped out of his skin as a hand dropped onto his shoulder and a voice whispered in his ear. “What are you doing lurking out here?”

He turned to see Yugyeom looking at both of them expectantly. Mark just pointed at Bambam who whispered back. “Jackson-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung are doing something weird.”

Yugyeom raised his eyebrows. “What makes that different from any other day?”

Bambam jerked his head toward the door. “Listen to this.”

The three of them crowded together to press their ears to the door. Bambam could hear Jackson grunt something at Jinyoung, but it was muffled by the sound of Mark‘s exhalation of surprise as Yugyeom accidentally shoved an elbow into his ribs in an attempt to angle himself better to hear. Jinyoung sounded breathless when he replied. “Do you not want to do this with me either? I‘m hurt, Jackson.”

“Ah, why do you always bring that up at awkward times?” Jackson huffed at him again, just as breathless. “I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah.” There was a muffled thud, as if something, or someone, had fallen to the carpeted floor. “Hmm, careful, careful.“ Jinyoung’s voice was teasing. Yugyeom wrinkled his nose and Bambam nudged him in the side, tilting his head as if to say “See? I told you.”

“You have to-ah! Watch it!- Push it in harder, Jinyoungie.”

“It’s not that easy,” Jinyoung said, sounding strained. “You’re squeezing too tightly.”

Yugyeom moved away from the door as if it had caught fire, catching Mark with his flailing limbs once more. “I don’t want to listen to this,” he whisper-yelled.

Bambam rolled his eyes. “You’re free to go anytime, you know.” Mark ignored them, more interested in what was happening in the room than their argument, though all he was able to hear was a strange rhythmic grunting noise that could have been either of them. Yugyeom’s curiosity warred with his decency, with the former winning out as he hesitantly moved back to the door, pressed up against Bambam.

“What are you all doing creeping around like thieves?” Bambam jumped again as Jaebum stood behind them with his arms crossed, with Youngjae a step behind him holding two mugs, looking confused. Yugyeom immediately blushed and a guilty look flashed across his face. Bambam could only roll his eyes at his lack of deceit while Mark ignored Jaebum entirely, ear still pressed to the door. Bambam tried to shush the older man, but Jaebum wasn’t having it. “Well? You three look ridiculous.”

“Hyung, shhhhh! They’ll hear-ah!” The door opened and he fell on top of Yugyeom with a pained grunt, only to lose his breath when Mark landed on his back half a second later.

“Uh.” Bambam looked up to see Jackson - fully clothed, thank god! - staring down at them suspiciously. “I missed you guys too?”

Mark rolled off of him while Bambam contemplated just laying there for eternity, hoping the ground would swallow him whole. Yugyeom made an annoyed sound underneath him and he huffed, climbing to his feet and refusing to meet Jackson or Jinyoung’s eyes. “Jackson-hyung, Jinyoung-hyung! What a surprise to see you here …”

Bambam wasn’t looking at Jinyoung, but he could feel the judgmental eyebrow regardless. “Here in my own room?”

“Ah,” he said, pulling at the edges of his sleeves. “Is that where we are? Funny.”

“We thought you were having sex!” Yugyeom blurted out nervously and then covered his bright red face. “You were making all sorts of noises ...” he trailed off, his words muffled by the hands he still had over his face in either continuing embarrassment or just sheer horror. Bambam heard Youngjae choking on his hot chocolate behind them.

Bambam bemoaned his friend’s lack of tact or cool under pressure while Jinyoung just snorted. “Like I would ever with this guy.”

“Hey!” Jackson sounded way more offended than was strictly necessary. “I’ll have you know lots of guys want to have sex with me.” There was a distinct scoffing noise that Bambam was pretty sure came from Jaebum, though he was too afraid to turn around and confirm it.

Before the conversation got derailed any more, Mark spoke up for the first time. “So what were you doing?”

“Putting together my new bookcase. This guy,” Jinyoung pointed a finger at Jackson accusingly, “Managed to lose the instructions between the store and the dorm. I’m still not sure how.”

Bambam squinted at them suspiciously. “A … bookcase?” Jinyoung just turned and gestured widely with one arm. Further in the room Bambam could see that there was indeed a mostly constructed piece of furniture. “Huh.”

Jaebum let out a long suffering sigh and left them to their own dubious devices, heading back out to their living area with Youngjae and hot drinks. Deflated, Bambam mumbled a quick “Sorry” to the two of them before scurrying back to his room with Yugyeom hot on his heels, leaving Mark alone with Jackson and Jinyoung.


“I can’t believe you just played along with them, hyung.”

Mark smiled shyly at Jinyoung. “Why not? If you were doing what they thought you were, I wanted to hear it too.”

Jackson starfished himself onto Jinyoung‘s bed. “No one would ever believe that you’re the biggest pervert in this band, Mark-hyung. And you!” He pointed dramatically at Jinyoung. “Why did you have to deny me so harshly?”

Jinyoung just huffed derisively. “I didn’t want to scar the children.”

“Well,” Mark said, stepping further into the room and closing the door, stopping Jackson’s no doubt whining retort. “Maybe I can help you finish that bookcase now.” His shy smile curled at the edges teasingly. “I’m pretty good with my hands.”

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May 25th, 2006

04:08 pm - I took some creative liberties with this one.
Non-fiction piece.

Ted Kord Can't Fix Everything.Collapse )

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